Silver Lining Read online

  Kevin stood and walked over to the window after reading the conference room clock for the third time. In a way, he was relieved his estranged wife had not shown. When he last saw her, eighteen months ago, she looked and smelled like death to him. As deeply as she had cut him, Kevin couldn’t stand to see her destroy herself, so he stopped looking for her. From the sixteenth-floor window, his eyes traveled down to the streets of downtown Oakland, wondering if Marlissa was sprawled out in an alley somewhere. Kevin knew she was still alive; at least, she had been a month ago when Tyson handed her the divorce petition at her current job site.

  “Mr. Stokes, Marlissa Jennings is here.”

  Kevin’s breath caught upon hearing the receptionist’s voice over the intercom. No sooner had he exhaled and turned to face the door than his wife stood no more than five feet away from him.

  “Sorry I’m late. Parking downtown is horrendous,” Marlissa offered, mainly to soften the daggers Kevin’s eyes threw directly and instantly at her. It was then that she saw how deeply his anger for her was embedded. The softness she once found in his eyes was gone. Aside from that, Kevin looked wonderful. From the beginning, Marlissa had labeled him the “finest man ever created.”

  Being the no-nonsense business man he was, Tyson Stokes cut to the chase. “Mrs. Jennings, will your lawyer be joining us soon?”

  “I don’t have a lawyer.”

  “Mrs. Jennings, the letter I gave you advised you to obtain representation.”

  “Mr. Stokes, I don’t know a lot about divorce proceedings, but from what I do know, if the divorce is not contested, the process is less complicated,” Marlissa offered.

  “That’s correct, but you still need representation to protect your interest in the marital estate,” Tyson explained.

  Marlissa nervously wrung her hands. “Mr. Stokes, I don’t have any interest in the marital estate.”

  That statement took both Kevin and Tyson by surprise. With the two of them gaping at her like she was an alien, Marlissa took control of the situation before she lost her courage. “Tyson, Kevin, can we sit down? There’s something I need to say.” Without waiting for them to take their seats, Marlissa pulled out her chair and sat down. Once Kevin was settled, she took a deep breath and began.

  “Kevin.” When he didn’t respond, Marlissa wanted to leave, but her heart wouldn’t allow her. If she was ever going to move on with her life, she had to close this door, despite how painful and heavy it was.

  “Kevin,” she continued, “when I married you I was a wounded little girl in a woman’s body. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t even like myself. For that reason alone I shouldn’t have married you. I didn’t know how to love you.”

  Kevin shifted in his seat but still didn’t speak.

  “About a year ago, I found the Lord. Actually, He found me. Since that night, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve stopped drowning my pain with alcohol and I am learning to face my issues head-on. That’s why I’m here. I need your forgiveness.”

  “Mrs. Jennings, my client is dissolving this marriage,” Tyson interrupted.

  “I understand, but please let me finish.” Marlissa directed her attention back to Kevin. “Kevin, I am so sorry for the many ways I hurt you. I’m sorry for the lies and the broken trust. I am sorry for rejecting the love you freely offered me. You were a good and patient husband, and I’m sorry I couldn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. I am sorry I couldn’t let you inside.” Marlissa placed her hand over her chest and felt the erratic beat of her heart. “Kevin, can you please forgive me?”

  Kevin looked away without answering.

  “Mr. Stokes,” she pressed on through Kevin’s silence. She had to finish before she fell apart. “I understand California is a community property state. However, I don’t want anything, not even alimony. If you draw up the necessary document, I’ll sign it before I leave.”

  Tyson was always prepared. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll have a notary here.” Marlissa nodded her consent and Tyson left the conference room. Kevin walked back to the window. Marlissa did not miss the message his body language sent. Her husband did not want to have anything to do with her; he couldn’t even sit at the same table with her. After a few cold moments, Marlissa conceded total defeat.

  “Kevin, I pray that one day you’ll forgive me. More than anything, I want you to find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

  Kevin continued looking out the window.

  When Tyson returned along with the notary, Marlissa signed the documents in complete silence. The second after the notary sealed the document, Marlissa pushed away from the table.

  “Good-bye, Kevin.” Marlissa remained composed long enough to get past the receptionist, but the long walk to the elevator was too much. She needed a private place to release her pain. In the solace of the bathroom stall, Marlissa cried until there weren’t any tears left.

  Chapter 3

  “Son, you’re doing the right thing. It’s time for you to move on with your life.”

  A month ago, Kevin could not have agreed with his mother more. But that was before he had seen Marlissa. The woman who walked into the conference room dressed in the black business suit was not the drunk who nearly had made him lose his mind and robbed him of his self-esteem in the process. Marlissa didn’t even look the same. Her hair was longer and she’d gained a few pounds. The alterations enhanced her natural beauty to the point that Kevin thought she looked more beautiful now than she did on their wedding day. Marlissa sounded different, too. It wasn’t her voice that had changed; it was the words she used and the gentleness in which she spoke.

  During the year they had lived together, Marlissa was never as considerate or sincere as she had been in that conference room. She was always combative and defensive toward him, especially when it came down to lovemaking.

  Kevin had known she wasn’t experienced, but neither was he. His relationship with Marlissa was the first in which he’d let his protective shield down long enough to fall in love. Most women were either infatuated with him because he was a doctor or because they felt sorry for him. But not Marlissa. Not one time did she bombard him with questions about his bank account or assets. In fact, she did not accept any gifts from him until Kevin presented her with a new Lexus as a wedding present. As for feeling sorry for him, Marlissa didn’t lower her expectations of him because of his impairment, nor did she sugarcoat her words. Back then Kevin appreciated her realness. Later, he would resent her, and the venom from her mouth would almost destroy him.

  “Mom, you’re probably right, but I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, you’ve never liked Marlissa.”

  Pastor Jennings chose her words carefully. “Baby, it’s not that I don’t like your wife. I just think there’s someone else better suited for you.”

  Kevin maneuvered from his mother’s office chair. “You mean someone you’ve chosen for me, someone like Reyna?”

  Reyna Mills had grown up in Pastor Jennings’s church and under her teachings. Reyna’s mother and Rosalie were old friends, with over thirty years of history. Pastor Jennings was present at Reyna’s birth, performed her baptism, and, if she had her way, Pastor Jennings would have the honor of officiating Reyna and Kevin’s wedding ceremony. At thirty-three, Reyna was only a year younger than Kevin and an almost exact replica of his mother. Reyna dressed like Pastor Jennings, even talked like her. That alone was the reason Kevin could not take Reyna’s attraction to him seriously.

  “This is not about what I want for you,” Pastor Jennings defended. “But if you had listened to me, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

  “Mother, you can save the ‘I told you so’ speech.”

  Pastor Jennings walked around her desk and interlocked her arm in her son’s. “Baby, I won’t say I told you so, but I will say this: you are too young to be miserable. Your life with Marlissa was never good. The two of you are unequally yoked. You made the mistake of marrying her, but you don’t have
to spend the rest of your life with someone who cares more for a bottle than she does for you.” Pastor Jennings paused to let her words settle. “Marlissa has moved on, shouldn’t you?”

  Kevin smiled at his mother then kissed her on the cheek. “I have to go. I’ll see you at Bible Study tomorrow night.”

  Pastor Jennings admired Kevin’s graduation picture from medical school long after he’d left. She was so proud of Kevin. Following his accident, Kevin had refused to sulk and feel sorry for himself. Already a B student, Kevin quickly adjusted to using the prosthesis, and studied so rigidly he graduated high school a year early, went straight to college, and then to medical school without taking a break.

  In the beginning, Pastor Jennings had hoped Kevin would work alongside her in the ministry, but Kevin didn’t have the desire. Her disappointment was appeased when Kevin was offered a position as an ophthalmologist, specializing in corneal repair and corrective eye surgery at the top medical center in the Bay Area. At age thirty-four, Kevin was the youngest local eye surgeon, but also the most sought after.

  Pastor Jennings replaced the picture then lifted the phone receiver. She needed to make sure she and Reyna were in accord.

  “How do I look?”

  “The same,” Marlissa responded without looking up from her book. Leon had asked that same question five minutes ago and ten minutes before that. He was both nervous and excited about his wife, Starla, coming over for a visit.

  “You could at least act like you care,” Leon retorted, and stomped into the living room.

  “I do care,” Marlissa replied moments later from behind the Formica bar countertop. “That’s why I picked these up for you.” She held out a floral bouquet. “I knew you wouldn’t think of it.”

  Leon was smiling again. “Thanks, brat, appreciate it.” He took the flowers and placed them on the kitchen table.

  “I’m glad things are working out. Keep this up and you’ll be back at home before Thanksgiving.”

  “I wouldn’t say all that just yet. Starla’s coming to check out my living environment to determine if she’ll let the boys visit me,” Leon replied.

  Marlissa quickly walked into the living room, directed her attention to the couch, and proceeded to rearrange the couch pillows so she wouldn’t face Leon when she made her next statement. “Bro, I’m a little jealous, because even if you and Starla don’t reconcile, you’ll still have your kids to love. I don’t have anyone.”

  Leon placed a hand on her shoulder. “Marlissa, you’ve helped me out of my deepest hole, and for that, you’ll always have me.” Marlissa offered her friend a slight smile. “Of course, I’m not the great Dr. Kevin Jennings, more like Melvin the milkman, but I’ll always be your friend.”

  “Promise to bake some cookies to go along with that milk, Melvin?” Marlissa mused just as the doorbell sounded.

  Leon gasped. “She’s early.”

  “Get the door. I’ll be out of here before she sits down.” Marlissa rushed into her bedroom for her jacket and purse.

  Before opening the door, Leon sprayed rainforest air freshener and said a quick prayer. “God, please let this be a new beginning for us.”

  Leon held the door and gazed at the stranger glaring back at him. It only took a moment for Leon to recall why the man looked familiar. “Hello, I’m Leon. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Leon greeted the visitor, and extended his hand.

  “Kevin?” Marlissa called from behind Leon before Kevin could return the salutation. “What are you doing here?”

  Kevin glanced over Leon’s shoulder at Marlissa. “I didn’t know you had company. I should have called first. Sorry to have interrupted.” He started to retreat, but Leon’s words stopped him.

  “Hold on, man, I’m not company, I live here.”

  Kevin looked from Leon to Marlissa for an explanation. “Kevin, Leon is my friend and roommate. I’m pleasantly surprised to see you, but this really is a bad time. I was just leaving so Leon can spend time with his wife.”

  “That would be me,” a female voice said from behind Kevin. None of them had heard the elevator open.

  “Starla, come in.” Leon smiled nervously.

  Kevin, looking confused, stepped aside to let Starla enter the apartment.

  Knowing how important and valuable Leon’s time with his wife was to him, Marlissa moved expeditiously. “Starla, it’s nice to finally put a face to a voice. From Leon’s bragging and our brief phone conversations, I feel as if I know you already. I’m so sorry for intruding on your time with Leon. Kevin and I are leaving.” She then started for the door and gestured for Kevin to follow, which he did.

  “Do you have your cell phone?” Leon called after her. That was a part of their accountability pact. Whenever they left the house, they had to be accessible by phone, just in case they needed support or prayer or found themselves in a compromising position.

  “Yeah, talk to you later,” Marlissa answered.

  “Nice meeting you, Marlissa,” Starla added before closing the door.

  Once Marlissa was alone in the hallway with Kevin, she began to fidget. She was still in shock by his sudden appearance. She wanted to know why he was there, but was afraid to ask for fear he would disappear.

  “I didn’t know you were living with a man,” he stated, almost accusingly.

  “It’s not what you think. Leon is in love with his wife and is trying to do everything possible to win her back.” Kevin remained silent. “I was going to catch a movie, but if you want we can go somewhere and talk.” Marlissa assumed he would decline, but he didn’t.

  “Sure, but it won’t take long to say what I have to say.”

  Marlissa ignored his defensive posture and started for the elevator. “There’s a Starbucks around the corner,” she said, at the same time pushing the down button. “We can walk.”

  Marlissa had never been claustrophobic, but tonight she was. It was the way Kevin’s cold, lifeless eyes examined her, like she was a lab experiment gone bad or a two-headed freak. Love and adoration had vacated the premises a long time ago; now disgust and contempt took up residence. Marlissa, desperate for a distraction, searched her purse for a mint.

  “You look healthy.” Kevin’s voice sounded just as she popped the peppermint into her mouth.

  “Thank you.” She wanted to say more, but for the moment couldn’t articulate her thoughts. She decided to wait until she had the comfort of a tall chai tea in her hand.

  The short walk to Starbucks was revealing for Marlissa. She had made the stroll down Piedmont Avenue on countless occasions, but on this mid-spring evening she actually noticed the stores and window displays. Like most Bay Area upscale neighborhoods, Piedmont Avenue was always crowded. Noted for its quaint boutique-style stores and neighborly restaurants, the mile-long strip bustled with activity from the crack of dawn well into the wee hours of the morning.

  Marlissa gasped and stopped in front of a craft store. When Kevin finally noticed she’d stopped walking, he was three doors down. Marlissa was still admiring the African American angel molded figurine in the store window when he retraced his steps. Marlissa was so engrossed in the twelve-inch heavenly being, she nearly jumped at the sound of Kevin’s voice.

  “Do you still collect figurines?”

  “I would love to have this beauty, but I can’t afford to these days. Eventually, I’ll start back.” Marlissa reluctantly backed away from the window and continued down the busy sidewalk.

  Marlissa walked the remaining distance in silence, while giving Kevin’s torso a thorough visual inspection. Just as her eyes began to journey downward, he stopped abruptly, causing Marlissa to bump into him. “Sorry,” she offered, as she steadied her balance without any assistance from Kevin. He did, however, hold the door to Starbucks open, and allowed her to enter.

  He walked in behind her and didn’t say one word during the ten minute wait in line. His lips remained sealed while Marlissa paid for her drink. When the barista greeted him, Kevin rewarded the pretty young
woman with a warm smile and small talk about the weather. Disheartened, Marlissa added Splenda to her beverage, and then went to find a table.

  Seated at a corner table facing the street, Marlissa prayed inwardly for Kevin. The frame seated inches from her was just the casing of the man she had fallen in love with. He was still gorgeous, but Kevin’s softness was gone. She waited for him to take a sip of his black coffee. This was another indication of how much he had changed. Kevin had always taken his coffee with two creams. He liked his coffee the same way he liked his woman: two creams and lots of sugar. Marlissa had the cream part covered, and although they hadn’t had premarital sex, she’d supplied him with lots of sugar.

  “Kevin,” she began. “You said you had something to say to me?”

  Kevin leaned back and stretched his leg. “Yes. How have you been?”

  “Wonderful. I don’t know if you can understand this, but I have never been so content with myself before.”

  “You look great. Have you really given up the bottle?” His tone was soft, but far from gentle.

  Marlissa set her cup down. “Yes, I have, and I’m saved for real this time.”

  Kevin’s face twisted as if he was reflecting on the few times she’d accompanied him to church. She didn’t participate in the service at all, and at home she let him do all the praying.

  “How did that happen?”

  Marlissa didn’t miss the sarcasm in his voice, but that was expected considering their history. “I have Leon to thank for that.”

  “Leon?” Kevin frowned. “How does he fit into all of this?”

  Marlissa took another sip of tea before recalling the events that changed her life. “You know the saying, ‘God works in mysterious ways’?” Kevin nodded. “That’s the only way I can explain what happened. I met Leon in Jack London Square at The Zone about three months after I left you. We spent the evening flirting back and forth. We were good and drunk by the time we headed to the hotel room he rented.”